pero bueno, it is all worth it in the end. :)
more importantly, this blog post is devoted to my Señora.
I just spent about an hour chatting with her. Interestingly enough, her husband died of cancer and apparently one of her family members took advantage of her vulnerable state after her husbands death and left her in an economically challenging position...interesting.
She has also made it her top priority in life to have her daughter be very educated, very prepared, and very independent. She does not want to see her daughter married off to a man only to be dependent on him and vulnerable if something goes awry. (She has a son, too, but she said sons are different because they eventually we figure out their independence. Woman are not as guaranteed to be independent, so they require more effort to raise.)...interesting.
Funny how sometimes you are paired with particular people for a reason, don't you think?
Who knows the reason, but the overlap between our families histories seem to be all too curious.
It is funny because since I have been here I have felt an invisible support from an invisible being. Take that as you will, whether you think it be my step-dad, my father, my grandpapa, or just a part of me that is making something up to comfort myself, but either way, I have a support system. Someone or some people are happy I am here. Deceased or living or make-believe. I feel positive energies.
haha particularly when I put on my new (and GORGEOUS) leather jacket. From what I understand, my father had an affinity for fine clothing and I feel a sense of pride run through me when I put on that leather jacket. It was the first leather jacket I tried on here and it will probably be my most prized purchase from this trip. I know that seems to be very materialistic that a purchase holds that much weight, but it is more than just a purchase. To me, it symbolizes my fathers constant presence, protection, and support. I wear that and I feel at ease.
I am anxious to see what adventures I will get into while I am here and what lessons I will learn. Maybe I walk away with the sole accomplishment of perfecting my spanish (which is slowly happening...slowly, but surely). No matter what, I partly think that this trip is going to teach me something about myself that will indirectly teach me about the people who are watching over me. Someone recently told me that they live within me. I am them. By knowing myself, I know them. So maybe by knowing and acknowledging myself, I exhibit traits of people I long to know and by default, know them as well as I know myself.
That got me on a thinking-tangent that someone a while told me what you see in your friends is a reflection of what you see in yourselves (good or bad). I didn't understand what that meant at the time of hearing that, but I think after connecting it to what I explained above, it makes a little more sense to me now...
...life is all too interesting...
ok, ciao familia
tengo mis clases en la manana!
~annette
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